She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm eating all of the evidence.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
