Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
