i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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