From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
