wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
