it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
