She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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