After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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