Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
