Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I could fuck to npr.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
