Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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