There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
