I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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