Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wish i was in the wii world.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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