i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize