Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize