I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
