; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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