Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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