i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
