4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
