we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
