I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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