I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
