Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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