Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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