I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There r osticjed everywhere
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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