Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
