He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
