I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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