why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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