bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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