Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
