Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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