Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
