She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
