Who did Billy Mays play for?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
