I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
