love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
