Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
