My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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