ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
