4 words: hood of his car
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize