You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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