worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize