yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
