I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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