shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
