So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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