The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
