Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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