My brain says no but my pants say off.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
