hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Pooping to opera.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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