I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
