kristin has been a bad kristin
You smell like a Billy Joel song
high people should be assigned attendants
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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