Jerry, you need to find god
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
