I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The Olympian is in my bed
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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