im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
