Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
