Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
