apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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