It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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