I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
