we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
