There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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