I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
